What am I doing?

Broken Angel (Live & Acoustic) by Boyce Avenue

Everyday I feel like I am becoming less in touch with the world. Sometimes I feel so close to people and then so distant. And it feels like its happening more and more frequently. One moment everything will be perfect and I may as well be the happiest person alive, and then in an instant, I feel like my whole world is upside down. And I feel like I am on a whirling cycle that I can't control or predict. I feel so insignificant and important at the same time. I feel joy and happiness and then jealousy and sadness. I feel like I have no control over anything and it kills me! I just don't know what to feel anymore? I suppose thats just part of being a teenager.

Sometimes I feel so lost...

Jack Peñate - "Pull my heart away" by bfound

So sometimes I feel so lost. In school, with friends, with family, with attitudes, but most of all with my feelings. People tell me all the time that I am the happiest person they know and I'm happy all the time yet I'm not quite sure. Most of the time yes, I am a genuinely happy person, but that can change within a matter of seconds. And sometimes I get so sad and stressed and that builds up and I don't know what to do with all of these horrible feelings so I tend to take it out on those I am closest to. Which is not fair on them at all. And for that I am sorry. But the thing is, they stick by me. Regardless of me being the biggest whore slut bitch face to them. They know who I truly am, and they don't judge me because they are the best things in my life. I love them. They make me smile, they make me laugh and I could not handle them not being there. Thanks guys.
Steffie x.

I just don't understand?

Young Folks by unmade

There are some people in life that you feel like you have an amazing connection with. You can talk to them for hours and hours on end and you never get bored of each others company. Sometimes you don't even need to explain what you are talking about because they just understand exactly what you mean. These people keep me going because they mean everything to me. These people are my best friends. They know who they are and they know that I could not exist without them. But Recently I have been so scared about the future, because everything can change in a instant. And I know people say that true friendships will last throughout everything, but I am so unsure. I love everything the way it is now. I feel like once I leave school I am going to be so lost and I won't have my friends to help me. I know some will remain close, but what about all the other wonderful people I have met? I can't imagine them not being in my life. I am terrified of losing them. I love school and I really don't want to leave it because then thats it, the end of this chapter. Its like reading a series of books and getting to the final book and not wanting it to end. Can't I just leave a bookmark in year ten and not grow up? Damn Peter Pan...
Steffie x.

Oh Golly

Sometimes school can seem sooo overwhelming, and I know that must be silly coming from a year ten student, but its so daunting. And I know over the next few years it is going to get so much harder, yet at the moment in the last few weeks leading up to holidays it seems like I have never had so many assignments in such a small amount of time in my life! I just don't know when I am gong to fit it all in? Ok, I should let you know that my time management skills do not exist so lets just say that the 11 or more assignments due in the next few weeks should be of "great quality" (JUST A HINT OF SARCASM THERE IF YOU DIDN'T REALISE!) Anyway I suppose I shall just try my bestest:)
Unfortunately I don't think my tactic of leaving things till the last minute will work this time-darn...
Steffie x.

j'adore...

These piccies are just a couple of things I love.

02 - Kill the Director by bilkman1

This is probably my favourite song at the moment, and lets just face it, The Wombats are clearly the best band ever!

So today I had my pe oral first up, which was a splendid way to start the day-hint of sarcasm there- and being the Steffie we all know and love I nominated with my partner Meg Meg to go first. We thought we would set a pretty high bench mark, but as the orals continued, we saw our dream of that A grade fall lower and lower until it was as low as that song by Flo Rida-oh yes, I'm being serious. But I still think we made a gallant effort, as Meg and I always do. And then I had music prac which was great except for the fact that Sam and I can clearly not concentrate when we are together because we are just too darn awesome! Its such a burden being awesome, but some of us have to make the sacrifice. Drama was next up, which was ok but not as fun as my other drama class at the moment, and then I had english which consisted of me, Jessie and Emily drawing in my diary,secretly chewing gum-we are so rebellious, and plaiting each others hair-soooo productive! Oh lordy lord with pickles on top, I have my audition for the school musical Grease tomorrow and I still have my cold, which is silly because it should be gone by now but I should manage-I hope!

Steffie x.

People can be so great.

Peter Pan by JinjaSafari

Some people can really surprise you. You could be having a really average day and the this person comes out of nowhere and says something that just makes your day. Makes you feel appreciated, wanted, needed. And for hours afterwards you think back to that moment, that one compliment, and you replay it over and over again. And in that moment, everything in the world seems to sparkle and you radiate with happiness, because nothing could possibly ruin your perfect little world. Isn't it funny that a few words can make or break your mood? And the delightful person who said that one amazing thing doesn't even realise how special they are to you and how what they have said has changed you for the better. I love people who give compliments. Thank you "Initials" *wink* Oh yes I am so sneeky with my code names.

Above by the way are just a couple of piccies that made me giggle so I hope you giggle too.

Steffie x.

facebook, what a legend

Oh facebook, you may be the one reason my homework is never done, and the whole farmville thing was a bit silly, but I must admit, you have your moments of pure genius.